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新东方陈晓舒:如何让你的ACT作文写出所有“采分点”

2015-09-11 11:06

来源:新东方北京学校

作者:

  “迎战ACT写作改革首考系列报道”今天为大家带来陈晓舒老师的《如何让你的ACT作文写出所有“采分点”》,希望对大家有所帮助,祝愿大家取得好成绩!

  改版后的ACT写作考试除了给你一个写作总分,还有四个大能力单项分。每个阅卷的歪果仁可都有一双火眼金睛,他们能够在有限时间内快速找出同学们写的这篇作文里的各大"采分点",为了通关ACT写作考试,今天特地为即将奔赴考场的同学们带来几大写作锦囊,供大家考场上打怪兽时使用。

  首先,作文的开头段不求你使用各种高大上长难句,你可能最终没能让阅卷老师明白你的意思,反而让他觉得你逻辑混乱。开头首先清晰的交代要写的话题,和关于这个话题你的立场是什么。注意同学们,你的立场要体现你对这个controversial issue 的价值判断,你觉得它是好啊还是坏啊还是你想对这个问题保持中立态度都ok,但你不要摆一个fact,那等于顾左右而言他。你必须让阅卷人立刻知道你对这个问题的看法,也就是你论证主体部分要支持或反对的内容。

  其次,平时的写作课建议同学们用2-3个段落作为论证的主体段落,由于新版ACT写作考试有一个新要求,即题目中给的perspective1,2,3你必须全部进行回应,这就要求同学们在草稿纸上写essay map进行brainstorming时要把这三个已给出的论点都考虑进去。有的同学在平时的写作课上曾有过这样的疑问,会不会有哪个perspective我实在无法跟我的立场联系上?不会的。对于和你立场一样的perspective,你只需提一下,把它拉到你方阵营,然后继续论证你的观点,而对于跟你立场不一样的perspective,和你不一样的原因有两种。第一,它可能和你讨论这个问题的角度不同,但是内容合理,你归纳一下你们都想说哪一大类的内容,然后你的论证角度是什么;第二,你可能根本不同意它表述的内容,那么你指出你哪不待见它即可,然后接着论证你的观点。建议大家在段首先写topic sentence,如果哪个perspective和你本段观点相似,提一两句。然后接着论证你的本段立场。或者先指出和你立场不一样的perspective,你不同意它哪了,然后本段你的立场又是什么,接着还是继续论证你的观点。最后在每段结尾加一个conclusion 进行总结或transition进行承上启下,也就是给阅卷人再重申一下你本段的立场,加深印象,也体现了你论证的严密。毕竟是persuasive essay,写的formal些啦。

  在我的这篇考前碎碎念的最后,我想跟同学们讲一下你的文章的最后一段,你可能那时候已经没什么时间了,千万别吓尿,给文章加个结尾很简单的。结尾不求长篇大论展望未来神马的,一句话也成哈,就是重申一下这个问题你的立场,就是paraphrase 一下thesis statement啦! 祝烤生们都能取得一个理想的写作成绩!

  附:官网给出的新版ACT写作样题和官网给出的满分例文

  Intelligent Machines

  Many of the goods and services we depend on daily are now supplied by intelligent, automated machines rather than human beings. Robots build cars and other goods on assembly lines, where once there were human workers. Many of our phone conversations are now conducted not with people but with sophisticated technologies. We can now buy goods at a variety of stores without the help of a human cashier. Automation is generally seen as a sign of progress, but what is lost when we replace humans with machines? Given the accelerating variety and prevalence of intelligent machines, it is worth examining the implications and meaning of their presence in our lives.

  Read and carefully consider these perspectives. Each suggests a particular way of thinking about the increasing presence of intelligent machines.

  Perspective One              Perspective Two Perspective Three

  What we lose with the replacement of people by machines is some part of our own humanity. Even our mundane daily encounters no longer require from us basic courtesy, respect, and tolerance for other people. Machines are good at low-skill, repetitive jobs, and at high-speed, extremely precise jobs. In both cases they work better than humans. This efficiency leads to a more prosperous and progressive world for everyone. Intelligent machines challenge our long-standing ideas about what humans are or can be. This is good because it pushes both humans and machines toward new, unimagined possibilities.

  Essay Task

  Write a unified, coherent essay in which you evaluate multiple perspectives on the increasing presence of intelligent machines. In your essay, be sure to:

  o analyze and evaluate the perspectives given

  o state and develop your own perspective on the issue

  o explain the relationship between your perspective and those given

  Your perspective may be in full agreement with any of the others, in partial agreement, or wholly different. Whatever the case, support your ideas with logical reasoning and detailed, persuasive examples.

  官网满分例文:

  As technology improves, and more and more tasks are completed by machines instead of humans, the question is no longer about what we can do with machines, but rather what we should. Although the usage of machines increases efficiency and our standard of living, it detracts from the value of human life.

  As machines increasingly perform all our basic tasks, society is able to produce more. The additional production adds material value to our society and frees people up from these low-skill tasks. This is in agreement with Perspective Two which claims that this industrialization leads to more prosperity.// For example, in the 18th century, short-staple cotton that was grown in the Southern United States required an immense amount of labor in order to separate the seeds from the fiber to process the cotton to make it marketable. However, in the mid-19th century, Eli Whitney, an American entrepreneur, invented the cotton gin, which allowed for automation of cotton processing. This machine replaced the need of a large work force for the process and greatly improved production. As a result of the cotton gin, short-staple cotton production skyrocketed, increasing by more than 10 times in the South while bringing prosperity to the region and setting in motion a new industrial era in America. This is in agreement with Perspective Three, which says that mechanization allows for "unimagined possibilities". Although there are clearly many advantages to industrialization, there are also some heavy drawbacks.

  The replacement of humans by machines leads to the loss of value to human life, an effect that outweighs the material gains of automation. The search to find human tasks that can be performed by machines inevitably leads to comparisons between the human and the machine.// If a company executive wants to see if a inventory management team can be replaced by a robotic system, he will compare the two and determine which can do a better job. When this occurs, the people on the team are evaluated not for their worth as human beings, but for their effectiveness at performing a specific function-in essence, as we would evaluate a machine. In a larger sense, when we begin to think about humans in this way, the worth of a person's life becomes dependent on only what they can do and no longer has any intrinsic value. As Perspective One states, we begin to lose our humanity. This new mindset and way of evaluating people, though seemingly harmless in the workplace, is devastating when it begins to pervade a society. If a person is judged only on his or her capability, there is no reason for a person to remain after they have served their function. This would warrant genocide against the elderly and the disabled because their burden on society would not be made up for by any production. Although the machines may seem to only fulfill the low skill jobs at the moment, there is no barrier to prevent the machines from replacing more. As the machines increase in intelligence, they will replace any tasks done by humans and render us unnecessary and worthless.

  Due to the risks of dehumanization, the material benefits of machines are not enough to justify its increasing presence.

新东方陈晓舒:如何让你的ACT作文写出所有“采分点”

北京新东方ACT写作教师陈晓舒

   教师介绍:陈晓舒,中国石油大学翻译专业研究生,北京新东方ACT写作老师,同时兼任CCTV双语主持人。有多年教学经验,擅长引导式教学,帮助学员在短期内快速提分。

(编辑:马菲)

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