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一篇并不华丽的留学文书essay 拿offer到手软

2016-05-04 14:12

来源:搜狐网

作者:

  这位学霸名叫Cesar Arevalo,来自加州的某高中,今年的Offer季一共收到了11所学校的offer,包括6所藤校、4所加州大学分校还有MIT和斯坦福,简直是收offer收到手软。。

  小哥是5岁的时候移民到美国的,刚来的时候父亲只能在一间仓库工作,母亲也只是在一间衬衣工厂上夜班,但是父母努力接受教育来改变生活的精神对小哥的影响很大,也坚定了他求学的信念,在小哥的申请过程中,他写的以“知识改变命运”为主题的essay也深深地打动了招生官们。

  一起来看看他的essay正文:

  As an emigrant from the small and violence-ridden Central American nation of El Salvador, I’ve been raised with the expectation of succeeding in a land of opportunity. While growing up in the outskirts of Downtown LA in the neighborhood of Boyle Heights, I learned that the only way to escape my condition was to receive an education. The examples set forth by my family laid the foundation for my love of learning and motivated me to pursue a higher education; through my pursuit of a better life I discovered a kindling passion for math and science that has driven me to seek a career as an engineer.

  My parents sacrificed their time and energy to provide educational opportunities for me. When I arrived in the United States at the age of five, my father worked at a 99 cent store warehouse and my mother worked the graveyard shift at a shirt factory. Eventually, in search of a career, they began taking classes at a community college. It is my parents and their struggles that showed me the value of an education. My brother and sister have similarly followed this path of learning by excelling in school and gaining acceptance into a top-tier university. My parents’ focus on education motivated us to do well in school because they knew it was the only way that we could create our own path toward a better life. Thus, I set out on my path to a better life.

  Confronting challenges head-on has been my signature attitude since I entered the American school system. Despite not being a native English speaker, I won third place in a school-wide spelling bee in kindergarten and realized that my status as an immigrant did not mean I was any less capable of competing with those around me. I craved for a chance to challenge myself. This desire burned inside of me throughout my elementary school years - I competed in another spelling bee and made it to the local district level, I led a group of my peers in a district wide math competition where we took home three medals, and gained acceptance to a two- week residential summer science camp at the University of Southern California.

  Throughout my middle school years, I found that I was not challenged enough in school; upon realizing this, I sought a way to fulfill that desire that had been so dominant just a few years prior. Soon I found myself taking a 20- minute bus ride to attend a local community college course on Intermediate Algebra. The thought of having to wait for a bus didn’t bother me because I enjoyed going to class everyday, I enjoyed the idea of being on my own, and, most importantly, I enjoyed taking the initiative to seek out challenges.

  My tendency to challenge myself academically grew during high school as I tackled higher level science classes. After completing two years of chemistry, I realized it was time to tackle and master physics. I petitioned for the creation of an AP Physics course because I felt that an introductory physics course would not be enough to prepare me for college -level physics. Thus far, the AP Physics class has been one of my greatest challenges and, despite the stress that it brings into my life, I am enjoying every minute of it. Because of my love for math and science, pursuing a career in a STEM field has long since been at the forefront of my attention. My family has always encouraged me to explore engineering and gladly helped pay for my trip to Stanford for a summer engineering camp despite having to go into debt to do so. I am grateful for the efforts my family has made because they have helped me reach a position where I am able to pursue a higher education.

  看完以后,大家什么感受?其实小哥的essay通篇其实都没有用什么华丽的词汇或者高级的语法,估计四级过了的宝宝都能看懂,但是这篇essay出彩的地方就在于他的真实,就像讲故事一样,把自己成长过程中影响自己的因素和自己现在的性格特点讲述出来,读完之后,一个非常努力、上进并乐于挑战自己的形象跃然纸上,就这么简单地打动了招生官的心。

  准备写文书的宝宝们好好琢磨琢磨,学习下吧~

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